April 18 Word of the Day: Bastard
Read today ‘Bastards and Buggers’, an article by
Simon Musgrave and Kate Burridge (2014), leading with this epigraph: “Which one
of you bastards called this bastard a bastard?” Their footnote reads: “Allegedly
uttered by Australian cricket captain Bill Woodfull during the Bodyline series
of 1932-3 in response to the English captain Douglas Jardine’s complaint that
one of the Australian players had called him a bastard.” Jardine directed his
bowlers to aim at the bodies of the batsmen in order to limit the Australians’ prodigious
scoring. It was Woodfull who famously (not just allegedly) said, “There are two
teams out there. One is playing cricket and the other is not.” The first use of
‘bastard’ in his interrogation calls his team mates to attention; it is an
almost endearing if blokey way of treating the team as equal before the law.
His second ‘bastard’ refers objectively to the haplessly pompous Jardine, for
whom the epithet applies even if Woodfull is questioning the Englishman’s legitimacy
as a sportsmanlike sportsman, not the legitimacy of his birth. The third ‘bastard’
has none of the foregoing tone of positive jocular bonhomie, its negative meaning
being very precisely what got up Jardine’s nostril: he is a reprehensible bully.
Gerald Murnane, the urbane Victorian novelist, has put in print that his sons
are quote “bastards” unquote. While it might be possible to believe he uses
this word simultaneously for all the meanings spelled out so far, the humour of
this unpleasant accusation balances on the question of Murnane’s knowledge of
the patrimony of his own family. Elsewhere in his writing it is apparent the
author has a finely tuned sense of irony and double entendre, a perverse wit
when it comes to etymology. While no reader for a moment would conclude that
Murnane’s sons are bastards, we have his word for it that they are. Don Chipp,
the flinty Victorian politician, knew a bastard when he saw one, for example the
well-born son of the squattocracy, Malcolm Fraser. Such was his dislike for
Fraser and other former Liberal Party colleagues he formed a new party, with a
primary objective that was not so much a policy as a moral imperative: Keep the
bastards honest. Such was Fraser’s notoriety during the Dismissal (1975) and afterwards
as Prime Minister that many Australians referred to him as the Big Bastard. Unlike
Douglas Jardine, Fraser took some pride (allegedly) in this sobriquet, as it denoted
respect for his legend as a ruthless operator, manipulative backstabber, and
aloof leader. Depending on who was using the term, an insult could become an
expression of admiration or grudging respect.
