Queen Victoria has four minutes of public appearance. She does not have a cold. She is two feet tall and made of porcelain. Even with a cold she would show because her public performances are mechanical. The clock goes dock-dock-dock-dock. Her head turns and you could swear she was looking just at you. There’s the rest of January to discuss her dress, scraping the ground almost and mainly black with tufts of sapphire. The catwalk is not quite the throne room and strobes are not chandeliers. Still, showing up thrills the subjects and quietens journalists. They will refrain from satire.