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Image: Iso-mandala No. 117 (September 2020)

This is the form you fill out for the rest of your life. Please verify your identity. Do not use your identity as your password. Your password needs to have a combination of upper, lower, wingdings, numerals and a personal gif. Forgotten your password? Send an email for an update. Forgotten your identity? Our list of therapists is available at the Non-Person website. Please fill out all fields. Write clearly. Name in full.  Save for later? Address, inside the box provided. State, Postcode, Country: try the dropdown menus. Are you a resident? How long have you been a resident? Are you resistant? Having a blank moment? How much longer will you be resistant? Answer with Yes or No. If you are not resistant, go to Question 6. If you are resistant, start with Question 84 and work backwards. Are you insistent? Mark any box that seems relevant. Are you not insistent? Try again tomorrow when you are in a better mood. Save and Proceed. Do you need more moral support? Fill out the B-Form (Slow). Or phone to express your current form. An operator will be with you shortly. Your call is important to us. Enjoy your personalised music loop. Or do you wish to opt out? Select from one of the following opt-out options: press 1 for tea break, 2 for return to bed, 3 for world trip, 4 for more options, 5 for the satisfaction survey (reading time 25 minutes). The opt-out option is a service of Opt-Tics Anti-Enterprises. To become an Opt-Tics subscriber simply download the form available free here. Conditions apply. So, what’s on your mind? What do you make of things in general? And in particular? Come here often? What’s the idea of it all anyway, really? Your place or mine? Who thinks up this stuff? If you prefer multiple choice Q&A go to Question 32. If you prefer written answers where you say whatever you like, whatever comes into your head whatever the weather, regardless of strict accuracy and spelling, go to Question 48. Do not draw in the margins. Does this mean only drawing over the text, Yes or No? Asterisked fields must be completed. Copy in parts of your complete autobiography (a work in progress) until space runs out. Where were you last week? Where are you now? Where will you be in a fortnight? Poetry is optional, spoken in your own voice. Speaking in other identities renders your form invalid. Anything you do say will be taken down and used in evidence against you. Further information is available after completing the application form at Miranda Warning. Tick this or any other symptoms of form-filling, including drooping eyelid, filing cabinet anxiety, submission panic, deadline dread, AI theft, ergophobia. Or add your own symptoms in the box provided, see above under Autobiography. In confidence. Save and Close. If you do not wish to hear from us again, or ever fill out another form, simply click Cancel. Have a nice day!