Horse

 

Morning coffee on Melbourne Cup Day at home prompted mock American nasal singing of the line “I had some dreams, they were clouds in my coffee, clouds in my coffee…” but conversation turned not on who was so vain, Mick Jagger, Warren Beatty, David Bowie, David Cassidy, or Cat Stevens, any one of whom (logically) must be vain to be a candidate, but on the question, can a horse naturally win? As you recall, the target of the song “went up to Saratoga,” location of a prestigious racetrack in New York State, “where your horse naturally won”. Being first past the post is important when you’re so vain, we conclude, but can the horse naturally win? Equine behaviourists are generally in agreement that horses are not aware they are in a race, nor that they are in the business of either winning or losing. They do not behave any differently after the race, either, whether they came at the front, middle or rear of the field. When young, horses jump and cavort. There can be some charging about, friskiness as they say, but while this may be called racing around, if this is racing in any conscious sense remains fairly open to doubt. Galloping is essential in adulthood for escaping from threat of different kinds. Also, bachelor stallions race each other, but especially the harem stallion, for attention of mares in the season; English jargon calls this horsey behaviour, or horsing around. Why would bachelors wish to do this in the pouring rain at the prestigious Flemington racetrack in front of thousands of humans in sopping suits and dripping fascinators and occasionally a “scarf it was apricot”? It is not a main concern of the race caller, obviously, or the bookkeepers. All of this leads to the ethics of the spectacle and the universal knowledge that jockeys can pull a race, any race, even the Melbourne Cup. Whether a horse can ‘naturally win’ is superfluous once it is understood that humans pull the strings, strings in this case being reins, whips, heels, raised voice and anything else jockeys use to manage the outcome. The horse’s health and physique is one thing, but the manoeuvrability of the rider is critical. Possibly the question revolves around whether horseracing itself is natural. It would seem at least to be an outcome of ancient domestication, leaving us to ask what purpose racing serves beyond vicarious and ephemeral pleasure, for the humans. One of my draws in the home sweep was Young Werther, a person Carly Simon could never deride with “you’re so vain”, given he is the epitome of Sturm und Drang, “the wife of a close friend” being the issue. You have to ask what kind of owner would name a horse Young Werther in the first place. Have they read the book? Over morning coffee, Young Werther did not look like much of chance on a wet track in a field of 24. Two scratchings.