What on Earth do we expect of exoplanets? Is it survival of the flittest, flattest, foamest? Survival may not be nature’s order, rather a harmony in harmony with rotation. Or death may have no dominion where life is a permanent contract with elements. Do they, if we can call them ‘they’, hone the equivalent of telescopes to observe little us through their equivalents of eyes? Is photography relevant, or radio? And why oceans anyway? Happily heliocentric, geocentric and anthropocentric, are we also crazily aquacentric? Is colour a thing, or millions of colours? Have ‘they’ advanced to the mad December rush?