Building

 

Image: ‘Southbank’ drawn from the train, outside

 lockdown, in my panorama book in the Autumn of 2021.

Melbourne is to have Australia’s tallest building, again. It will be a twisted spiral, courtesy of the computer. Actually, it will be two towers, two for the price of one being (at present) $2bn. The Mayor of Melbourne says “it will have a ripple effect in spreading confidence throughout the city and abroad.” The Mayor is not saying it’s just one more tall building to go with all the other tall buildings over there in Southbank. Nor is there any explanation about why confidence requires a tall building, though obviously someone thinks it necessary for Melbourne to keep up with the worldwide phallocracy. Nor is there a definition of ‘abroad’ where the ripples will have their effect; Broadford, perhaps. The Mayor calls the building “awe-inspiring” and “jaw-dropping”. It’s a case of awe-jaw. The name of this “ambitious” structure dispenses with the basic building blocks of spelling, the vowels. It will be called STH BNK, doubtless inspiring local wags with bonk jokes for some time to come. Someone, it’s not clear who, will be excited to learn that our tower will surpass Q1, the erection on the Gold Coast that is currently numero uno in our part of the world, heightwise. Perhaps pride was dinted when Q1 replaced 101 Collins for pre-eminence.  Aesthetes sigh at the ripple effect, thinking it has something to do with visuals, and surely ripples will be an effect of the twisted spiral. The Mayor of Melbourne, however, is focussed on things that are above: “It will challenge all future developments to not only consider, but to conquer the incredible.” Unquote. Bombast has no limits and goes back to the Tower of Babel, and earlier, even. How exactly anyone can conquer the incredible is a matter for John Ruskin and other theorists. Reassuringly, the Mayor of Melbourne shows how it’s done, though it is assumed the Mayor talks investment and jobs, rather than architecture, deftly ignoring a reason given for financing the project, “hoping it would revitalize Southbank.” Melburnians with long memories sometimes wonder how many tall buildings can be built on a floodplain, the ‘bank’ part of Southbank being more than geographic description. After all, the settlers banked the Birrarung below the falls with bluestone to make a port, but also to stop Emerald Hill from flooding. This vowelless skyscraper is not being built on solid bluestone foundations. Like its neighbour towers, it could well end up swaying in the southerly gales, creating a myriad ripple effect. That is neither here nor there to the Mayor, who is speechless even while giving speeches. In the same report it is said the state’s building sector “reels” amid rising building costs, with one major company collapsing recently, leaving hundreds of homes unbuilt. Renaming Docklands Ghosttown would show a lack of confidence. It takes all the vowels at our disposal to make a case.