Turtle (April)

The glass-bottomed boat of television is close as I’ll ever get to the Green Sea Turtle, gliding along coral of the world’s largest living organism, while David Attenborough goes into a highly pressurised ecstasy of perfect English sentences. April is the drooliest month, launching turtles over swaying anemones and kaleidoscopes of fish. Millions of pixels can’t be wrong. But when the tarpaulin is hauled over the glass-bottomed boat I (more turtle than shimmering fish) must go for a snack, jot some perfect English sentences about ecstasy, start planning tomorrow’s paid day in Melbourne, another of the world’s largest living organisms.